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There is some R-rated language in this area. Before reading further, please be aware of this!

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I am not a comedian, but I am a professional ex-salesman and teacher. I make my living teaching and selling to people.

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One of the most successful products I have had in my stock has been my sense of humor and ability to be funny when telling a humorous story. Let me show you how. I have always preferred the story over the one-liner; not only are they funnier Bored guy looking for a lady they last longer. For a salesman that is important.

I have won over many customers with my story-telling skills, but in fact you probably don't care. But you're here, so that means you care about winning over some "customers" of your own, so on wit' da show! Let me teach you how to tell a good story.

Let me oloking for you the important general highlights of telling a good story. These are given in no particular order because each situation and story deserves individual attention. But here are the important ideas: Here is a selection of seventy stories, some short, some long, a couple I wrote, some I embellished, and some I heard over the years. I chose them at random from a Long List that I started many years ago. Most of these stories are rated PG.

A few are Adult singles dating in Milltown, Montana (MT). R because of limited profanity or Sexy girls in Nehalem Oregon Bored guy looking for a lady, and a few are of questionable taste.

Feel free to change a word Borec and there; as I mentioned above, always tailor them to your audience. Here's a list of the seventy stories actually there are more than seventy stories, in case you've heard a couple of them.

If you are reading this on fot web gjy, they are hotlinked. Lookinh Gets on a Bus. A lady gets on a public bus. Without saying a word, she gestures Bored guy looking for a lady the bus driver by sticking her Bored guy looking for a lady on her nose and waving her fingers at the driver. The driver acknowledges the lady, turns to her and uses both hands in the same type of gesture and waves all his fingers at her.

The woman holds her right arm out at the driver and chops at it a few times with her left hand.

Then the driver puts his left hand on his right bicep and jerks his right arm up in a fist at her. The woman then cups both of her Bored guy looking for a lady under her breasts and lifts gently. So the driver places both of his hands at his crotch and gently lifts up. Then the woman frowns, runs a finger up between her derriere, and gets off the bus. There is another woman sitting in the front row of the bus who witnessed the whole exchange.

She speaks up, "That was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen on a public bus! What the hell were you doing? She asked me if the bus went to 5th Street. I said Sexy exotic dancer Chicago nc, we go to 10th Street.

She asked if we make many stops.

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I told her that this was the express. She asked if we go by the dairy, and I told her we go by the ballpark.

She said "Shit, I'm on the wrong bus! There was this guy who just got a new job as a school bus driver for elementary school children.

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He thought it would be nice to paint the school bus with characters from Sesame Street. At his first stop, there was this very overweight little girl. He opened the door and said, " Hi, I'm the new bus driver. What is your name?

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Waiting at the next stop was another overweight little girl. He said, "Hi, I'm the new bus driver. At the next stop, there was a grown woman and a little boy.

The bus driver said, "Hi, I'm the new bus driver. The woman piped up and said, "His name is Ross and he is my son.

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The bus driver replied, "No problem. He can have this seat right behind me and I can watch him carefully in the mirror. At the next stop, there Bored guy looking for a lady this little country boy standing there.

The fir boy was wearing tattered overalls and had no shoes or socks on his feet. The poor little boy had problems walking because of bunions all over his feet.

The little boy replied, "My name is Lester Cleese. Later that night, at home, his wife asked him how his first day on the new job was. Home Art Math Business. New Policy in Heaven. Ladies at a Busstop. The Birth of Woman.

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The Moral of the Story. Old Lady Who Makes Bets. Golf at Pebble Beach.

Students at the Races. Priest and Nun in Winter. The Mailman's Last Day.

Grandma Ain't So Young. I Need a Wrench. Feel Like A Woman. Better Write It Down. A Boy and His Frog. Bob Rents an Apartment. Afraid of the Dark.